What to do in Narutoverse
by Cyricist001
Summary: Konoha will get a visitor that is not impressed with the shinobis tricks. Meet Sef, your old school gorgon, with a touch of D&D magic.
1. Chapter 1

What to do in Narutoverse

I own nothing

First I want to explain that I'm no Naruto fan. I have no love for shonen in general, except if they make me laugh, and Naruto fails that miserably. From the plot and character development its actually one of the worst animes produced until now. BUT as bad as the canon is a rare few of fanfiction story's are rather good, giving a far better character development then in the original.

So after getting sick and tired of story's where somehow the kid gets even more power for free, a 180 character change that makes him a OC with Naruto's name, have him trained by people who wouldn't give a damn about his problems,and gather the most unlikely of harems I decided to inject my very personal OC to mix things up in the Elemental nations.

The fic is Mary Sue from beginning to the end since anything the Narutovers characters can do Sef can do better.

* * *

Chapter 1.

Sef sighted. She never planed to be caught by the blue flames of the chaotic wild magic that devastated the Realmspace. It was simply her bad luck to be on the skyship when it was struck with the wild magic. The storms stopped centuries ago, but the fool of the captain brought them to close to the Plaguewrought Lands and the catastrophe happened.

She lost consciousness then only to awaken to a surreal scene.

The people and object of the ship were all horrible fused together. One of the mages she was traveling with was somehow merged with the ships wall, luckily for him it seemed he died a quick death. Or should she say that she was lucky since she wasn't harmed or changed in any way?

Looking though the ship she concluded that she was the only survivor. Seeing no point in staying here she looted the place clean. The dead didn't really need the things any more. Especially the arcane books and magical items were a nice find.

She carefully exited the warped and damaged craft only to receive another shock. The night sky was rather foreign to her. The moon was there but there was no sight of Selunes Tears.

She was not on Toril anymore. But that also begged the question where did she land?

The ship was wrecked on a small island in the middle of nowhere. That wasn't a problem she could either fly or walked on the water...but where should she go? She needed to find some information and for that a city would be nice. But what were the inhabitants here like? If she ended on some world like Glyth it would be a headache. Hiding from slavers was not her idea of spending eternity.

She slowly made her way across the water. With her magic ring she didn't need to eat, drink or sleep. And even if by some chance that she did manage to fall in water the ring of flight gave her also the benefit of water breathing, so she will not drown anytime soon.

Normally you would ask why all the magical items and all. But Toril was not a world for the weak. It was a place where Gods fought for dominance, mortals schemed to become Gods and countries and continents were destroyed on a whim.

The average lifespan was either very short for those without power or very long for those with it. There was probably no place in the multiverse where the number of immortals was so high as it was on Toril. She should know she was on of them.

As a Gorgon and a Shade she would never die or get old from age. But that didn't mean she couldn't be killed. Unlike a lich and other less than plesent things she encountered in her five centuries long life.

Unlike most of her people she didn't spend her time with turning people to stone or being a nuisance. She was more the free-spirited wanderer, enjoying the possibility of seeing new things.

Because of that personality she allied herself with the Netherese of the Shade Enclave. She would serve them in fighting the Abolith Sovereignty and they would teach her magic. She performed her duties so well that she was awarded with the gift of being turned into a Shade.

She didn't have anything against it. Not only did it make her more powerful it also increased her beauty.

Normally people would say that Gorgons were hideous ugly creatures but that was just a myth. Most of the Gorgon race were rather beautiful, to the point where it could be said they as a species were somewhat narcissistic. She was naturally no exception, but unlike her sister she didn't expect the lesser races to kiss the ground she walked. She glanced in the reflection on the water. She had long straight black hair, white skin and green eyes.

She walked almost a day or two before she found what she was searching for - A city.

As she moved through the town she saw a lot of humans, but no other species. It always amazed her that this seemingly weak species lived on so many worlds and dimension often overpowering foes like dragons and demons to carve out a place for their chaotic societies.

From what she could see of the culture of these people it was very similar to that of Shou Lung. As a Archanamach-Psionic-Sorceress she had no problem with probing the minds of the people she passed. The language was very similar to that of the nations of Kara-Tur.

She landed in a nameless world where ninjas played an important part in day to day activity. But unlike the assassins she knew from Toril these people acted more like a strange combination of Monks and Wu-Yen. They had no knowledge of the arcane arts and most of their attacks were either illusions or evocation elemental damage.

It was rather limited in her opinion. But it was the nations that made her almost laugh in the street. They were actually called the Elemental nations, she was currently in the Land of Water near a village called Kiri. There were also Konoha, Kumo, Iwa and Suna...the people her had no imagination whatsoever.

Further studying the people she could also say they were inferior in every possible way to Torils inhabitants. From their knowledge of metallurgy to that of healing and poison making.

That power they used called chakra was similar how the monks used their ki. Both gave increase in speed, strength, toughness and some special abilities. But the ki that was coordination of body and mind, that was trained by a lot of meditation was rather simple in its understanding. This chakra was more like the sorcerers innate magical ability, allowing to mold this energy to create fireballs and other effects. She also knew she didn't have that power since this was not her world and the laws that govern life are vastly different. She couldn't learn any of their skills as they couldn't learn hers. She dint have chakra and they didn't have magic in their blood and soul.

Perhaps as a wizard she could have taught people to harness the free floating energies around them, but she never bothered that much with theory since as a sorceress she was magical from her birth pulling the needed arcane power from inside herself unlike the wizard who harnessed the power around himself.

She at least knew one things. She didn't want to do anything with these ninjas. They didn't have anything to offer her and she had no interest to serve tyrants without good pay.

Yes she served the Netherese Empire. But they gave her with magical items and rare spells, these people didn't have that. And as evil the Shades were, these people are even worse.

In the Empire you at least had choices. If you had enough of them you simply went separate ways. They will not spend resources in hunting you down, they were a lot of ambitious people who could replace you. No one was irreplaceable, not even the Gods.

And here? If you don't like being a ninja you will be hunted down like a dog.

These people didn't have nations, they had insane cults.

Not to mention an assassin from Toril could kill these ninja without them even noticing it. The whole point being an assassin was to kill your enemy without being seen. Whats stealthy about a fireball?

And when she saw the weapons they used...

What was the purpose of the kunai? It supposedly was good for throwing, stabbing, cutting and could be used together with those strange pieces of paper...paper bombs, no that's not it...explosive tags...it didn't mater, they were similar to blast globes. The point being the kunai made no sense as a weapon. It had many uses, but it performed average at best in every single domain. A kukri knife was better for slashing, a throwing dagger was better for throwing, a spike was better for stabbing. It was like the bard of weaponry, able to do many things but without any sort of mastery in any of them. It had no guard, if anyone actually was dumb enough to block with it the possibility of loosing fingers was rather high. The blade was to wide making it hard to reach organs protected by bone. The edges sharpness was actually inferior to a common house knife, or anything with a curved blade. And the paper tag trick? You could wrap a rock in it and throw it. It would be cheaper.

And shuriken practice? These thing can't even scratch leather armor, unless you poison them they were dangerous only when they hit you in the eye.

These people actually give their ninja some sort of forehead protectors that actually identified them to everybody...now she was no assassin, but even she knew that the point was NOT to attract attention to oneself.

Well she had to admit partially to be a hypocrite here because she walked dressed in a black Spring Steel Full Plate armor. The Spring Steel had a rather infamous reputation for being worn by assassins that appreciated its flexibility. It was basically like a second skin that also showed off her curves rather nicely.

But when you combined mythril and spring steel to craft an armor, it was like walking without clothes at all, but protected your body better then dragon scales.

She learned all that she needed from her walk and proceeded to leave as soon as possible. The less she interacted with these people the better.

She was on the bridge exiting the community when she spotted a child siting on the bridge, its eyes hollow.

A quick glance in his mind told her that it was tied to the civil war that raged across this nation. People with bloodlines were hunted down and this child had the misfortune to be one of them.

Now she wasn't a good person, she did more then her fair share of fight for the bad guys. But she wasn't heartless, seeing a child like this suffer wasn't something she would like to have on her consciousness.

She and Aeron were similar in that regard. But where the Viceroy of Moonreef was a cold-hearted schemer, and created sociopath out of children he came in contact with, she simply wanted to stop their suffering and see them smile.

The child looked at her. His dark brown eyes met her green ones. She knew that she will not be leaving this village alone.

* * *

-SEF-

Race:

Gorgon aka Medusa

Class:

Archanamach-Psionicist-Sorcerer

Weapons:

Voidmetal Whip-sword +7, Vampiric

Two-bladed sword +5, Corrosive

Gauntlets +5, Frost

Armor:

Mithril/Spring Steel Full Plate armor +7, Immunity to poison and disease

Items:

Johydees mask

Boots of Swiftness

Ring of Regeneration

Greater Ring of Sustenance

Ring of Universal Elemental Immunity

Amulet of Epic Natural Armor +7

Belt of Magnificence +6

Headband of Perfect Excellence

Collar of Virulent Venom

Ring of Negative Energy Immunity.

Ring of Underwater Breathing

Ability:

Poisonous blood

Eternal youth

Gorgons gaze – turns any living creature into stone (that also includes demonic spirits)

Sorcerer spells

Psionicist

Master weapon user

Regeneration – even severed arms. As long as she isn't instantly killed she can wound

Shadow Teleportation

Dimensional Travel via shadows or darkness

Magic Resistance

Darkvision

Flight

No Metabolism - doesn't need to eat, sleep, or breathe, nor does it age. A shade gains all the appropriate immunities one would have for not having a metabolism, such as immunity to fatigue, exhaustion, ingested poisons, death from aging, etc.

In shadows the shade increases his physical attributes like strength, constitution and dexterity.


	2. Chapter 2

The three of them walked down the road. The gloomy weather made her desperate to leave Kiri as soon as possible. They were heading for Taki as it was more to her liking. She had enough of doom and gloom in the Shade Enclave. But after reading the minds of some weird Konoha jonin she changed their destination. The kids have expressed their desire not to hurt anyone, but they also needed to be able to protect themselves. She had no idea how to train them since she didn't have chakra, but the jonin had the answer for that. A medic nin. If she could find this Tsunade woman she would pay her to take them as apprentices. It was actually convenient. The kids will have a doctor to help them when sick, learn something that's actually useful and profitable, and she wont have to interact with any ninja village since the woman avoided them like the plague and moved around a lot.

„Hurry you two" she said.

The two boys nodded and increased their pace.

Unlike probably every kid on Toril the children of this world were rather pacifistic. She knew that kids from her homeworld were rather pragmatic and would have done anything to survive, and usually do.

Haku and Kimimaro were absolutely opposite to that. They laughed and played with flowers and bunnies. And when things don't go as planed they get depressed rather easily unlike their Toril counterparts that instead of sadness nurtured hate far more often then any other emotion.

Hakus stomach growled making the boy blush in embarrassment. Like that was something to get work up over about. The people in this land had such a prudish way to look on things.

Kissing almost always implied intimacy, and should be practiced in private. Walking around nude was also taboo, honestly like she should be embarrassed of her body or something.

People used sticks to eat food. She received more then on shocked look when she grabbed a birds drumstick with her hand, or when she used her dagger to impale some rather juicy vegetables. She ignored the comments about being a barbarian and possessing no manners. The dog piss they called alcohol was also a disappointment. Its not like she needed to eat or drink but watching the kids eat made her wish to sample the local cuisine.

After some more walking they stopped in a forest clearing so the children could rest. She pulled a longbow from her Bag of Holding. She would prefer a couple of rabbits, but if the need arises she would kill even a deer or a boar. A preservation spell could keep the meat fresh.

„How did you do that?" asked Haku making Kimimaro nod.

„My bag is special. Its bigger on the inside, allowing me to place a lot of things without it being heavy or cramped"

„Can we go inside?" asked Haku

„No. The bag doesn't allow living things to be placed inside." _or pink things _„I will hunt us something to eat, you two make a fire and find some herbs as I have shown you"

They nodded as each went to do his part. She has taken it on herself to teach them basic survival training, including herbalism. Considering that she didn't know the correct way to use kunai, she has been teaching them how to handle daggers and kukri knifes. With time she will start with swords, staffs, whips and crossbows.

Through the centuries she learned to use many a weapon. Normally she used clawed gauntlets, whip-swords and a two-bladed sword for up close. For range she used equally bows and crossbows. But mostly she loved the small drow handcrossbow. It was almost impossible to kill with it. But it was silent and excellent way to poison someone.

She inhaled and detected the scent of a boar near her position.

She took one of her arrows and placed it at the ready. She didn't even flinch as the huge animal entered her vision. It was some sort of dire boar to grow this big. She let the arrow fly closely followed by another one. The two projectiles pierced the animals eyes and skull. Making her prey shudder and die.

She rubbed her head. She had absolutely no idea what to do with all this meat. It will last for a very long time. „Levitate" she said as the boar rose in the air. It slowly levitated behind her as she made her way back to the clearing.

She saw the two boys calmly doing their part.

Both boys looked at her and were surprised by the flying animal.

„Sef-sama, what happened to the boar?" asked Kimimaro.

Sef send him a disapproving glare.

„I'm sorry Sef"

She nodded. She hated the suffix the people attached here on everything. Like she needed the thing to know what her relationship to people was. You could have someone call you –sama all day long and still hold you in contempt. If people here cared so much what they thought about each other then they should watch the body language and eyes more often, and not listen to what the person tells you.

„Its one of my abilities...you could call it a bloodline" she said as the animal dropped to the ground. She pulled out one of her short swords and easily sliced the thing open. It will take sometime until it she was finished with it.

„I think we will need more wood for the fire"

The two nodded and went back into the woods to pick more dry branches.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

It was already night time when the meal was finished. But the kids waited patiently. They were familiar to the feeling of hunger. So when the meat was finally finished they enjoyed every bite of it.

„You know that I will get this Tsunade to teach you medical ninjutsu. But I will expect that you know to use at least one weapon. So do you have any preferences?"

Kimimaro thought about it for a second „A whip or a sword...perhaps both"

Sef nodded „Good" she looked at Haku

„I staff perhaps?"

That didn't really surprise the gorgon. A weapon of choice for pacifists. „Good. I have some spare weapons you wanted so we can start the training tomorrow. They are real weapons so you will have to be very careful with them"

They nodded and prepared to go to sleep. But a bunch of people suddenly encircled them.

„Well well well what do we have here" said a one of the men surrounding them.

Reading their mind she already knew who they were, what they wanted, and what their potential was.

„Be silent! I get to go first with the wench!" said the brown haired man.

„Oh come on Mukade, she could entertain more the only one at the same time"

„You will wait Akira! Play with the kids until I'm done"

Sef could only roll her eyes at the stupidity of the humans. She had no forehead protector and was unarmed so of course she was a defenseless civilian.

When they started to move closer she decided to finish the nukenin fast. „Waves of Fatigue"

To the nuknins surprise all their chakra was gone, feeling tired and sluggish.

„What did you do?!"

„What kind of jutsu was that?!"

„Kill her shes a nin!"

„She has no protector so shes probably a missing nin" said the man Akira „Hey nee-chan, how about you join us we are looking for strong ninja t-„

He was cut of when she followed with another spell „Cloudkill"

When the yellowish green mist started to rise around the nukenin, only Mukade had the brains to use the last drop of his chakra to move behind the woman and take the kids hostage.

„Enough! If you so much as open your mouth the kids are dead!" he said as he placed a kunai on each boys throat.

He could hardly believe that five jonin were taken out this fast by the woman. She didn't even seem tiered by the jutsu.

Instead of replying in any way she let her eyes settle the dispute. With a flash the man and the two boys were nothing more then statues. She slowly approached them and placed her hands on their heads „Stone to Flesh" returning the boys back to life without them knowing what she done. Hostage situation on Toril were not rare and almost never had a good ending.

The two boys looked confused for a minute before they looked behind them. They saw the man who was pressing kunai on their necks a second ago standing perfectly still, encased in stone.

„Will he be able to get out?" asked Kimimaro

Sef only smiled and pushed the statue to fall on a tree trunk and break in two. The boys shuddered when they saw that the man was not imprisoned in the stone but actual stone himself.

„How?!" asked the amazed Kimimaro, while Haku only looked sadly at the broken statue.

„Its a bloodline"

„How many bloodlines do you have?"

„Two. The gorgon bloodline and my sorcerers bloodline" the powers gained by the Shade ritual weren't inheritable so they didn't count.

The boys never heard about those bloodlines but were impressed that she had more then one.

„What do they do?"

„The first makes me able to turn people to stone and transform in a human-snake hybrid. And the second one allows me many abilities, to many to mention now" actually she didn't want to give more information the she had to. Seen that the children's curiosity was filed for now she went to pick up her things. It is probably not the smartest move to travel at night, but she didn't want to be near corpses to long. Call it bad memories, she saw to many adventurers fall because they allowed undead to surprise them. Not to mention that some animals or more bandits might stumble on the camp, she had a lot of spells but she didn't want to deplete them on trivial fights.


	3. Chapter 3

Tsunade counted her payment. She didn't doubt the strange woman, in all the years they traveled together never did the woman tried to cheat or talk her way out of paying. It was rather straight forward. The woman wanted the brats trained and she gets a rather large sum of cash.

At first she didn't want anything to do with her or the brats. But Shizune admonished her that it was a good thing they wanted to learn to heal people (and they needed the money desperately to pay back the debts).

Naturally she gambled it all away but as long as she gave the brats the training she had a gold mine in the woman. She never did figure out how the woman came to poses all the cash...she tried to follow her once but beside seeing her exchange gold nuggets for ryu she learned nothing.

It was not that bad. The brats were good-natured and polite, and their chakra control made it easy to teach them.

Haku as it turned out grew up in a handsome young man...a little effeminate but still. Beside the medical skills he learned from Shizune how to use senbon, while Sef-san taught him how to use a quarterstaff and whip. She was glad the boy will not be used as a killer for some village, it simply didn't fit his personality. Because of his nature he took like fish to water to the profession of the medic-nin.

Kimimaro was another pair of gloves. He also mastered medical ninjutsu but didn't have any scruple in using lethal force unlike Haku. His swordsmanship and whip usage were also on a far different level from Hakus. Where Haku infused air chakra in her special whip to give him a cutting attack he never used it against his opponents. Kimimaro on the other hand used his bones the same way but didn't hold back in the spars against Sef...not that he won a single fight yet.

The woman Sef was a mystery. She didn't seem to be a shinobi, but she had some mysterius bloodlines that allowed her to move through the shadows like holes in space-time itself. Her first thought was that she possessed some relation to the Nara clan, but the dark haired woman denied it.

What she knew of Sef was that she was filthy rich, a kenjutsu master, had some shadow teleporation skill, fast regeneration and a disdain for hidden villages.

Not anything threatening, she just didn't wish to have any business with them. It was from her that Tsunade received her first compliment for leaving Konoha.

She spoke that it was strange to her how the people here gladly sacrificed their friend and family to protect something trivial as the kages and dirt they call villages.

She had to agree. If Novaki was born as a civilian he would be alive and probably married by now. The morality cared she played were especially frustrating.

-Flashback-

„You don't meet people every day that practice slavery, make preteens into soldiers and allow them to butcher each other in silly tournaments and still consider themselves good" said Sef as she watched Haku and Kimimaro use their chakra on some fish. When she finally managed to find Tsunade Kimimaro for some reason became sick. It was pure coincidence that the medic managed cure him from the disease, if it was allowed to spread it would have killed the kid before his 20th birthday.

Tsunade glanced at the woman „What do you mean?"

„I came from a nation that is mercilessly pragmatic. They would never call themselves good. The Drow society is even more similar to your hidden villages. They practice slavery, rape, torture, make child soldiers, send them in no rules tournaments, expect them to kill for the betterment of the city, house, goddess" She said as she took a sip of her drink.

„Imagine my surprise when I found that people here were rather fond of the same things. How the clans could brand their own with curses that made them suspectable to torture and death on a whim.

Not to mention the Chunin a bunch of half-baked brats, give them weapons and let them loose in a no rules tests to accomplish some idiotic assignment. As expected, there was a lot of dead kids, dead raped kids or simple amputees. A Drow would feel like home here, and when a Drow thinks something is a good idea, you can bet its something normal people find repulsive."

Tsunade had to agree it did have a rather sickening idea to it.

„The best thing is you don't even see how wrong it is. The people LOVE it. Hey! you want to be a shinobi? We will use you to kill people, make your kids kill people and then you will die for the good of the village as will your children one day. And if you don't like it, we will place you in the bingo book and hunt you down like a dog."

With every word Sef said she was both angrier how the woman badmouthed her home and ashamed that it was all true. „And don't even start on the folly of the Will of Fire ideology. Love is the key to peace? What rubbish. Its because of love for the dirt they call homeland, for the fools they call leaders that they actually wage war, they just call it protection. Killing is their job. Every cult is based on some altruistic goal, that in the end demands that its followers give up their lives for some half-baked reason."

Sef was flabbergasted when she learned from Tsunade how the village economy worked. The shinobi have absolutely no skill beside killing. Your usual fighter was normally a rather good smith. A rogue was a charismatic merchant that knew how to make money easily. The spellcasters were so self-reliant, they didn't even need an economy or money.

And what do the shinobi know? Nothing. If they actually spend half their training time learning a trade instead punching trees they wouldn't be so dependent on missions.

Not to mention the use of genin as cheap labor. It made the people lazy, undermined any economic initiative on the civilian part, made them completely dependent on funds gained by missions that once not present force a village to war, further depleting their already scarce resources. And where goes all the money you ask? Well military upkeep naturally. All those paper bombs, all those kunai that are simply forgotten once used all cost money, not to mention basic human necessities.

The moment missions stop coming, you will have thousands of paid killers that wont have money to feed their children, guess what would happen?

And then there's the shinobi academy. They train ninja without giving them any mental training to master their emotions. Half of those kids will be traumatized by their first kills. And teams of two males and one female are perfect for developing friendships or romantic ties...to bad when such people die it always leave hollow and broken children behind. And considering that the genin are not trained well for anything, that produced a lot of dead brats very fast.

But the most glaring question is rather simple.

Why call Konoha a hidden ninja village when its neither a village, nor is it hidden. The damned thing receives traders and visitor's from all over the continent daily, it was laughable how easy someone could get a spy in.

-End flashback-

Sef tinkered with some papers that she found on the sky ship.

Tsunade shrugged no point in thinking about the woman's opinions, as long as she got the money she was fine. The bad thing was her students were almost finished with the apprenticeship, and Sef will probably go her separate way taking all the nice money with her.

„How long will we be in this town?" said Sef. She already saw everything of interest here and was more then happy to go someplace else.

„As long as I say we will" said Tsunade as she planed to hit some nice gambling houses.

„Honestly, you and your vices" Sef rolled her eyes.

„At least I'm not a five hundred year old hag" smirked the blond woman.

„And I still look better then you" the gorgon smirked „and still will in the future centuries"

She finally understood Orochimarus obsession with immortality. She was half tempted to experiment on the woman to see how that bloodline worked. It was even more potent then the Uzumaki longelivity.

„Whatever" she scoffed "Lets get something to drink" she walked to the brats „OK, you two stay here and continue, Shizune you watch over them until I comeback."

Her apprentices nodded.


	4. Chapter 4

Sef watched Tsunade drink down one bottle after the other. The Orochimaru guy really got under her skin. He wanted to bring her brother and lover back to life in exchange for healing his arms.

What a weakling. She could easily bring back two people from the dead with a Wish spell. The only reason she didn't offer it to Tsunade was because she had no reason to do so. Those people were dead for a reason – they were weak. So what was the point of bringing them back? It was actually far better if she kept this her little secret, if Tsunade ever gained anything she wanted then she will play that card for maximum gain.

The woman had a ogres strength but brains and emotional control were not her strong points. And a medic that had hemophobia...as soon as she finishes the boys training they part ways.

„HEY!" someone white haired man shouted. The only white haired man that wasn't a old geezer she met was Aeron and the two were no comparison. This guy is like an insect compared to the Viceroy.

„Tsunade!" he shouted making Sef glance at the blond woman.

„Jiraya...why are you here?"

„Finally we found you" he said as he proceeded to take a seat at the table.

She easily breached his mind and saw what was all in there...she found a interesting bland of S-ranked secrets and XXX rated snuff.

What was so exciting peeping on woman bathing? What was he... twelve?

She completely ignored the discussion that the two Sanin were having. It was non of her business anyway.

She glanced at the blond kid...Naruto. The kid was an idiot. People who liked him blamed the villagers for mistreating him but the fault was ultimately his. Instead of goofing off all the time he should have studied. But perhaps she simply compared him to the wrong people. The orphans who survived on Toril were far more mature then this kid even without any support. At least this kid had the Hokage, those shop owners and Iruka.

Looking deeper in the kids memories she saw the Chunin exams the kid participated.

In her opinion the red haired Suna brat was doing them a favor by putting them out of their misery. Skillwise they were far more skill then any child on Toril she ever saw...but that's it. They are mentally immature, and as those shinobi grow older they learn nothing. In three hundred years they haven't improved one bit. She doubted any of this world humans lived past their first century, unlike Toril where some humans can live for millenniums.

The Hokage went to explain that these test were a replacement for war between allied villages. Strange she thought, normally nations who are strong will hide their strength and show off when they are weak to frighten off others. What does that say about Konoha? Besides when your leader tells you to risk your life for a nations prestige...its the right time to pack your bags and leave or find someone more rational to be the boss.

The first fight was between a Uchiha brat and Akado. Compared to the battles she saw in the Drow arenas it was nothing. In her opinion the Uchihas were to dependent on their eyes to be any serious threat. One day she will have to tell the brat the truth about his clan, a gift from Jiraya, it will be amusing to watch. In fact he is the smartest of the lot there, he actually follows his own desires...no mater how misguided they are.

Using her psychic abilities she found a lot of dirty little secrets that the people of Konoha kept. It was not hard, these people had no concept of mental defenses, they couldn't even passively read minds, usually going to the yamanakas who were considered the best in that domain. Pathetic. In closequaters nothing can stand before the mind powers of a psionic. The material world bends to their desire inside the range of their power.

The fight after that was between Zaku and the Aburame. His abilities reminded her somewhat of the Verminlords or a Arachnomancer. But the idea of a chakra powered device that causes sonic damage was actually smart. Good thing that those idiots wont copy it, those attacks actually with their vibration ignore armor and directly attack the soft organs under any protection. She watched the people cheer after the orphaned boys hands blew off, she didn't care about him or his certain demise now that he was of no further use, but she would bet that if one of their died they would rage, glare and promise some kind of vengence or retribution. She had to give the old man credit, he brainwashed the people there rather nicely, probably like his predecessor did to him.

The Battle between Tsurugi and Kankuro was also a joke, but to give some credit at least one of these morons knew how to use poisons. But honestly puppets? There are better constructs to use, and they are autonomous.

Haruno girl vs the Yamanaka brat was...ughhhh rather not comment.

Temari vs Ten Ten was also a disappointment. The girl Ten Ten didn't deserve to call herself a weapon user not to mention a weaponmaster. You specialize in one or two weapons, you don't take them all and throw them all over the place. What were the idiot instructors thinking when they allowed those brats to fight in a life or death tournament?

On Toril you spend years even decades working and training before you reach the right to be allowed to take any serious missions. Adventurers younger then twenty were rare, for the elf's being under eighty means you are still wet behind the ears.

Nara vs Kin Tsuchi, actually the guy has the most promise of the whole lot...to bad he was as brainwashed as the rest.

Uzumaki vs Inuzuka. If she ever doubted in the inferiority of the human race those two proved her that yes humans are idiots, at least on this world. The brain was a wasted organ on people like them, hell an ilithid would die from food poisoning if he tried to eat theirs.

Son of the fourth hokage and Kushina Uzumaki, holder of the Nine Tailed fox...it was comical to watch the people bully the kid, and he took it! He simply bend over and smiled. She didn't know who was the greater moron from the two. The kid has all the genetic predisposition to surpass his father, but he instead of learning wasted his time playing pranks on people. The hokage praised him for inventing his own jutsu that ...what was the name again...Sexy jutsu? But she didn't see how that was any different from any other henge. With the energy he siphoned from the Fox abomination he should have been the best not the worst of the group. Honestly a pacifistic cult of assassin? Even to her that sounds like bullshit.

She actually pierced his subconsciousness until she found the Fox spirit. In its mind she found some interesting things about this world of the past.

The Biju are not native to this world, the Jubi was a large predator of a fluidic space before it was transported by a spacial anomaly to this world, when it appeared it contaminated the world with chakra, resulting in the apocalypse of the natural ecosystem and human civilization that existed at that time. That lasted until that Sage of theirs divided the Jubi into the nine Biju

And the idea that this Sage created the moon is hilarious. The Jubi as all Biju is pure sentient chakra...it doesn't have a physical body. If any part of a biju is cut off it will disappear in the nature as any other energy,the moon existed long before Jubi came to this world, its simply a large of rock kept close by the gravity of the planet.

She also found out that the Fox was simply living in the wilds until a Uchiha hypnotized it with his eyes. And since then it was imprisoned by the humans. If someone imprisoned her for three centuries and used as a weapon when convenient she would be pissed too.

And the blond idiot thought that it was the things fault, why ? Because people say so – the same people who say he is the fox. Talk about retarded.

The kid was probably intoxicated when he talked all that madness about protecting people and strength. She saw more then once how that ended. The protector cant be on more locations at once, someone starts to kill his precious people since the ones that are protected never actually grew from the struggles since the protector finished them all. And it all culminates with a hostage situation where either the protectors kills himself or the hostage dies, leaving the protector as a failure.

The problem is that the kids is an attention whore, if he was less concerned what other thought about him and more thinking he could have been a normal person - believe it!

The two Hyuga fight... the girl should find another occupation, like a nurse or something, she was obviously to timid and pacifistic for this kind of work. With her luck she will end up being raped somewhere.

Gaara vs Lee...honestly a genius of hard work? The people here have a rather loose description of the word genius. She would sooner call him a moron since he has to spend so much effort. As expected when the idiot lost all hell broke loose. Like his injuries were any worse than that sound shinobis. Those people had no control over their emotions what-so-ever.

Dosu vs Choji...body enlargement? These people had some weir idea that bigger is better. Precision and subtlety were replaced with big explosions that made a lot of noise and flashy lights. Hell a necromancer could kill you at the table surrounded by protectors and they would discover it only when the body started to rot.

The third exam was no better. She almost got a migraine when she saw the memories of the fights in the arena. That Hatake idiot actually had the guts to call that attack an assassination jutsu. You would have to be blind and deaf to be surprised by that.

And the talk the Uzumaki and the Hyuga had was ridiculous. What kind of an idiot talks in combat? If they wanted to discus philosophy they could have gone out in their free time and done it with a nice ale. But no, they whole bloody arena had to hear their problems and how bad they were screwed over.

And the funny thing was, the Hyuga was right. Talk about a stacked deck. If the Hyuga knew that he was fighting a jinchuriki he would have taken this more seriously and probably went for instant kill by an attack on the heart. Honestly the kid has the Uzumaki bloodline, was trained by one of the Sanin, has a free chakra sourse independent from his chakra network and is the kid of a guy that had a firm grasp of jutsus. What did the Hyuga have? The Byakugan. Thats it. His family never taught him any of the stronger moves the main branch used, he learned them himself. He actually spend more time training then the Uzumaki.

Since we are at the topic of fate, the kid already has a prophesy on him. That means his future was already predetermined! Sure he has two choices to save or doom the world. Well Neji also has two. Live as a slave or die by rebelling. Nice choices.

And all thanks to Jiraya and a talking toad...

Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi that the fool wrote was a child's fable. The man wanted a world of peace but didn't want to see the shinobi way of life end. He obviously forgot that it was because of the shinobi that there was war here in the first place. The fool should pick one and forget the other, since they are incompatible.

But the most important point was that its human nature to fight for resources and thing we desire.

While she uncovered all of Konohas Dark secrets the blonds started an argument that ended with a fight, a bet and a nasty bill for damaging the road.

Sef sighted, this will be a very long week.


	5. Chapter 5

She had no idea from where the giant three tailed turtle monster came from but with a simple gaze the colossal thing turned to stone. As long as it was alive strength and size meant little against her. That was the gift the gods gave her race.

„That was wonderful Sef" said Kimimaro, the boy grew in an athletic young man. And with time his abilities only increased.

„I think that was the Isobu" said Haku

„A Biju?" said Sef and glanced back to the colossal stone statue „its...big" what else could she say about it.

They continued their journey. In the last couple of years they traveled all over the ninja world. The world was rather boring. They were attacked by bandits and nukenin from time to time but those people made stupid things like revealing themselves, making stupid monologues and generally doing tactical fails from step one. The first rule she taught her not so little kids was to go overkill. Work your way from the strongest attack and go down not the other way around. Sure it costs you a lot of chakra to do a one shot kill, but if you stalled the fight you would have spend the same amount by sustaining injury and exhausting yourself out.

As they walked on the road they saw a blue skinned man with a large...sword? on his back. Unlike him his partner looked rather normal. They had black shower curtains with red spots over them.

Probing their mind she smirked. They were S-ranked nukenin, and the smaller was the renegade Uchiha. A devious thought crossed her mind.

„You two take a break. I wish to see how good this guys really are...and watch from a safe distance. I don't want another hostage situation like that mess in the clearing"

They nodded and left.

She stopped in front of the duo, making them stop as well.

„Good day gentlemen" she said

„Hey Tachi do you think this is a robbery? I haven't had those in a long time"

The Uchiha remained silent.

Sef placed her hands in front of her „No no nothing like that. I simply wish to test my strength against some of the best this world has. Would you humor me?"

„Hahahahaha I like you girly!" the sharkman said and grabbed his sword.

„Kisame we don't have time for this" the Uchiha spoke.

„Oh come on, it will only take a minute"

„Do as you wish"

The shark man grinned and rushed Sef with his sword still wrapped. But to his amazement the woman melted in her own shadow making the sword slam in the ground harmlessly.

He suddenly jumped as Sefs whip-blade slashed where his legs were supposed to be.

„Tricky" he grinned and tried to block the next slash with his blade.

Imagine his surprise when her sword sliced a long part out of the blade making the sword shriek in pain.

„Samehada?!" he growled „How did you do that?" it was hard to belive a blade could be so sharp without chakra.

„I forged my whip-blade from voidmetal. Its destroys anything it comes in contact with...especially anything living" she grinned evilly. The only reason she didn't die herself from simply holding it was because she had a ring that made her immune to the negative energies that empowered the sword.

Kisame cursed and spit out a row of water sharks at his opponent, but like before the woman simple dived into the shadows.

The whip-sword slashed again at his back but it cut only a piece of wood.

She saw him to her right doing the hand seals for some jutsu. Soon the whole area was covered in water.

All this was very strange to Sef. She could have ended this battle the moment it started, but she wanted to show her students how pathetic these ninja all are, and get some info. The water soon turned in a giant orb with her in the center. Sharks were swimming all around her.

As soon as one passed close she entered his shadow and appeared outside the orb, from a tree's shadow.

Having no chance to catch her with the technic he disbanded it and rushed the woman again.

„Horrid Wilting" she said as the magic instantly dried up Kisames body, making it fall on the ground.

That caught Itachi by surprise. He was already preparing to intervene but he didn't see the woman's jutsu coming.

Actually now that he focused on her he could see she had no chakra...not a trace. He knew that was impossible, all living things needed it.

To be on the safe side he activated his Sharingan „Tsukuyomi" he said

Making the woman look at him in boredom.

He had no idea how this was possible but he couldn't hold back against this woman.

„Amaterasu" he said as black flames consumed her body...or so he thought, but against all logic she still stood there looking bored.

What he didn't know was that her Ring of Elemental Immunity made her immune to any kind of heat. She could swim in magma on the plane of fire and wouldn't even be warm.

„Susanoo" he said as a giant armored skeletal image surrounded him.

She already knew the weaknesses of the thing. It didn't stop sound making it weak against vibrations,magical illusions, verbal enchantments, her eyes...and necromancy „Finger of Death"

With that sentence Itachis soul was ripped out of his body, leaving the corpse to fall to the ground.

Satisfied with her work she pointed at the two corpses „Soul Bind" she watched as the two souls entered the sapphires she carried on her body.

As soon as these pesky black flames stopped she will perform a Zin-carla ritual on the two. She found a lot by dragging the fight out. She almost laugh how much war was made by people who wanted peace. Danzo, Pain, Madara...

Well not really her problem. But she found two nice guardians for the kids. Once they were nice obedient undead she will be free to return to Toril either by the Gate spell or through the Shadowfell.

All this was watched by a plant like man from a nearby tree „He...wont like this at all" it said.


	6. Chapter 6

She watched the group surround them. She recognized them all from Kisames and Itachis memories.

Tha Akatsuki, and in full force no less.

„Who are you" asked an orange haired man with a dead gaze.

She couldn't read anything from his mind so she tried the others, and again she failed.

„Sef" she answered as she continued to probe the people in front of her. She almost grinned openly when the started to receive thought and memories from blue haired girl...Konan.

The orange guys were puppets controlled by a guy named Nagato who was hidden not very far from here.

She looked over the other members of the Akatsuki. Except Itachi, Kisame and Madara all were here. Not counting the summoned animals behind Pains paths.

She also noted that she couldn't get inside Sasoris mind, and considering he is a puppet user...so a sentient construct.

„You have two choices join us or die" said Pain.

„Very well, Time Stop" she said and the flow of time stopped for everyone except her.

First she cast the a spell to eliminate the living „Wail of the Banshee"

„Reverse Gravity" she had to hurry.

„Ruin"

„Black Blade of Disaster_" _a swordshaped nothingness appeared floating in front of her...well not that close. And not to soon the Time Stop ended and the gathered ninja were assaulted by the most devastating spells imaginable.

Kakuzu, Hidan, Konan, Deidara, Zetsu died as the Wail of the Banshee ripped their souls out of their bodies leaving empty husks behind.

Those corpses along the still unharmed Sasori and Pains Paths soon were subjugated to the Reverse Gravity spell making them stop in midair. Then Sasori and half of the Paths were hit by the Ruin spell turning them to dust.

Before the rest could comprehend what happened Sef used every bit of her mental strength to push the Sword to touch them.

Caught of guard the figures were easily erased from existence irreversibly.

As the spells ended she forced herself to stop her from collapsing from the mental strain of controlling the destructive nothingness.

She cleared her mind and used her abilities to teleport through darkness only to appear behind Nagato.

„Disintegrate" she said as the magic ray turned the man into dust.

She rubbed her head glad that's over.

She teleported back where she left the two boys that were looking at the carnage, obviously awed.

„Now you know that when you want to kill someone don't waste time with chatter, it gives your opponent time to do stuff...mostly stuff that kills you" she said as they resumed their walk down the road.

XXXXXXXXXX

She couldn't believe that she ended up here.

Konoha...she could smell the fanaticism from miles away. Well since she is already here might as well see what Tsunade was doing.

The Chunin guarding the gate were fools. Write her name? Why not. Ami..it had a nice sound to it.

She didn't make even two steps in the village when some girls bag broke and a few apples fell out. Naturally Haku was there to help the girl bring the things to the Ramen shop.

The second one to get distracted was Kimimaro that saw a weaponstore. Since she showed him how to forge weapons he took a liking to working on the forge. Even more he started to make his own weapons...made from his own bones. Well considering how useless the weapons of this world were his could be considered enchanted.

She was guided in the Hokages office and as she expected Tsunade was neck deep in paperwork.

„Why in Shars name don't you use a clone?"

Tsunade looked up remembering the familiar voice but unable to give a face to the sound.

„Sef?!" she almost shouted glad that she had an excuse to ditch work „What are you doing here. I thought you will never set a foot in a ninja village"

The gorgon shrugged „Didn't plan to, but since I was in the vicinity I decided to drop and say hello"

„So what were you been doing all this time?"

„Nothing special. Mostly traveled and trained the kids" Sef said „You? Naruto gave you trouble?"

That made Tsunade look at her sternly but relaxed soon „No, he is out on a training mission with Jiraya. He will have a lot on his plate after he returns. His friend have all already advanced in rank. He will never become Hokage as a genin"

„Good. Let him marry that Hyuga fangirl and do something productive for a change"

Tsunade smirked „So how long are you staying?"

Sef shrugged „A few days" she then remembered something „I think I saw one of your Jonin in the Wave? He was constantly running the distance between here and there. What was the name again...Gai? Yes Gai. Whats that all about?"

Tsunade smiled „Seems he found a sweetheart there"

„Oh?"

„On a mission to protect her father, a bridge builder he and Lee managed to defeat easily some Kiri nukenin and a horde of bandits. And since he was more the happy to help them out he and the bridge builders daughter somehow found the red string of fate"

„Hm go figure"

They talked until nightfall and Shizune had almost a heart attack when she found out Tsunade didn't finish any of the paperwork.

XXXX

Sef dusted her clothes off. She didn't have any problem with finding Danzos little hideouts. It was rather easy to eliminate him. An Imprisonment spells works wonders. For the rest of his goons? Dead, except a kid named Sai that she planed to drag to Tsunade.

She didn't plan to stay here any longer. She only had to find Madara and Orochimaru and that's that.

The boys were already going their separate ways.

Kimimaro managed to open his own weapon shop. He received a rather large loan from Tsunade to kick start a new clan in Konoha. He was dating the Ten Ten girl. She fell in love not with him but his weapons, but at least something.

Haku was in the same situation. But unlike the foolish Kaguya the Yuki decided rather to works as a civilian and as a medicnin not bound to Konoha in any way. She almost choked on a fruit when she heard that some guy grabbed Hakus rear thinking he was a waitress. The man never gained the courage to return to Ichirakus after that. Even Hakus girlfriend Ayame found it funny.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

„Ku-ku-ku soon Sasuke, soon" Orochimaru said as he watch the Uchiha have a starring contest with a wall.

„Imprisonment" said a voice from the darkness before Orochimaru disappeared from the face of the world.

„Who are you!" glared Sasuke

„Only a visitor" came a voice from everywhere before the Uchiha could demand anything else he was hit with memories how Konoha framed his brother and played him for a fool.

„W-what i-is this!" he hissed

„Memories. All true even" replied the voice.

He had a hard time understanding. His brother loved him? They were used by the village! his hatred shifting from the brother to his former home and all shinobi that lived there.

„Now I know what I must do" he said in a cold, emotionless voice.

„Then take these presents with you" the voice said and from the darkness a group of people waked out.

To Sasukes shock he recognised some of them.

„Itachi!"

The undead didn't respond in any way. The wraith possessed all the knowledge and abilities that he had when alive, but he didn't have any free will what so ever.

Beside him were Hoshigaki Kisame in a similar condition.

But the two others were more peculiar. They were Uchiha at least he thought they were since on of their sharingans was replaced by an strange dojutsu with a rippling pattern.

„Madara and Obito Uchiha" said the voice.

„All four are tireless undead who will follow any command you tell them"

„What happened to them" Sasuke asked angrily.

„They were killed. Their organization was after the Biju, and the ninja villages had them hunted down because of it. Even Itachi who was Konohas spy in the organization was not spared by his masters in the Leaf"

„You said they are mine to command"

„Indeed. Good luck to you"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sef opened the portal to Toril.

The last few days were fun. She managed by using divination magic to find Madaras location. But he wasn't alone a man named Obito was also there when she teleported in the room.

But they were to arrogant believing that their phasing trick was something special. A Dimensional Anchor prevented any funny business with his Kamui. Obito died thinking that Mordenkainen's Sword couldn't touch him...guess he was wrong.

She tormented Madara by interrupting his thoughts preventing any plan or jutsu being used before she grow bored and simply burst a few veins in his brain.

„Is that it?" asked a male voice

„Indeed. You are going to love Toril." Said Sef

The silver haired medic nin adjusted his glasses „That I don't doubt"

They walked into the portal leaving the boring world of the Elemental Nations.


	7. Chapter 7

People gathered in the stands ready to watch the opening of the new Deathmatch tournament.

They rejoiced at the opportunity to see celebrities old and new spill blood for their entertainment, naturally popcorn and hotdogs were sold like in any good bloodbath.

„Welcome. I'm Nick Diamond„ said one of the commentators

„And I'm Johnny Gomez" said the other one

„With all the talk about this guy vs that guy we thought about inviting the most prominent to slug it out here in our little arena. So today you will be watching a special case of Celebrity Deathmatch"

„That is correct"

„Now we already have the fighters ready to go at it. It will be a free for all grand melee"

Mills looked at the fighters „I want a nice clean fight you understand?! Now lets get it on!"

**START**

„Fear me!" said Noob Saibot.

The Nara was not impressed.

„Shadow–Neck Binding Technique!" said the Konoha ninja. The lazy man smiled but that soon disappeared as he was forced to dodge a punch.

His opponent even immobilized was more the capable to animate his shadow allowing it to attack Shikamaru.

The fight soon turned into a one sided beatdown as the lazy Nara couldn't evade Saibots attacks and his teleportation around the arena made it impossible to predict the next move.

Seeing that the man was already at its end Mills decided it over „Finish him!"

Saibot nodded and making a shadow clone grabbed the mans limbs „Make a Wish" and then he pulled.

Shikamarus entrails fell on the ground as he was divided in two.

**XXX**

Kiba patted Akamaru on the back „Now I will prove that Im the alpha!" The huge dog barked in agreement.

His opponent was a dark haired man in normal civilian clothing.

Kiba smirked „I have no idea what a werewolf is, but he certainly doesn't deserve the be called an alpha"

„Man beast clone!" shouted the wild looking kid, and in a poof of smoke his appearance became even more bestial."Getsuga!"

Kiba slammed in the man with full force of the jutsu...but was stopped in his tracks.

He looked at the man whose clothes were shredded but not even a scratch was on him.

„You have no idea what a werewolf is, do you kid?" calmly asked the man.

„Like I care, I'm still going to win this" he said as he throw a kunai at the man who didn't even bother to dodge the weapon.

Soon the man clutched his body as the pain made him scream in pain...before his skin and bones burst open spraying the arena in his blood. From the gory display emerged a black bipedal wolf that hauled at the sky.

The werewolf transformation was painful, but it was a small price to pay for immortality. Only silver could harm a werewolf, and people usually didn't make a lot of silver weapons.

Before Kiba could react the monster slashed with its claws at Akamaru and to his horror cut the dogs stomach dog fell on the ground as its entrails left his body. The animal was picked up by the monster that with its supernatural speed and strength had no problem of holding it in the air...before he bit deep in the dog jugular and ripped flesh to devour.

„AKAMARU!" cried Kiba as he attacked the werewolf with kunai and fist, all in vain. A single strike of the lycantrops hand crushed the humans head like a ripe melon.

**XXX**

Manda, Gamabunta and Katsuyu ganged on a Basilisk

The three summons looked at the giant snakes eyes...and died.

**XXX**

The blond Yamanaka girl gaged when she saw her opponent „Man your ugly!" before she tried to take over his body with her mind transfer jutsu.

The Illithid Psionic was not impressed with her mental powers, so he hit her with a mind blast.

While Ino was stunned his tentacles drilled into her skull so he could eat her brain. The girl died instantly but to the amazement of the audience the mind flayer also collapsed on the ground beside the girls corpse.

Mills approached the pair and after examining them he nodded to the medics „Because of the food poisoning the squid suffered, this fight is a draw!"

**XXX**

„I will kill you for Jashin-sama" said the immortal priest as he watched his opponent.

Stein didn't bother to reply as he glanced at the man. He slowly started to turn the giant screw in his head before a maniacal grin split his face „I wish to dissect you"

Stein made the first move as he slashed at Hidan with his scythe, that the man easily blocked with his own. Stein used the momentum to punch him in the face that made the Jashinist slam in the arena wall. Hidan smiled when he saw that he managed a small scratch on his opponent and proceeded to lick it.

Stein was intrigued when the mans skin turned black. „Now you die!" shouted Hidan as he rammed the scythe in his gut. Stein lurched forward, he saw that instead of Hidan he was bleeding.

„Hahahahahaha glory to Jashin!" he said before he tried to stab himself again, but found himself shocked when Stein simply walked forward.

„What!" The insane scientist only turned his screw before replying „I analyzed your soul already, and matched my own to yours. In essence your technics see me as you and allow me movement" he said as he dashed forward „Soul menace!" he hit the stunned jashinist making the man fall out of his circle.

„You th-„ Hidan spit out blood. To his amazement the wound didn't heal."what did you do to me?!"

Stein lit another cigaret „Since your body is immortal I will simply have to destroy your soul"

And proceeded to hit Hidan until the mans soul disintegrated.

**XXX**

Nagato and his Six Paths of Pain on the other hand choose Enel as their opponent.

„Give up you don't stand a chance before a God" said one of the orange haired people.

The blond man on the other hand didn't even open his eyes as he lazed around the arena. „I will give you five minutes, use them wisely"

Pain didn't even blink as his paths used their abilities to kill the mortal. But after five minutes he still failed not only to kill him but to even move him from his prone position. He started to suspect that he was starting to fight a genjutsu or a rather durable lightning clone. But his Preta path failed to absorb any chakra so it couldn't be it.

„Times up" said the man with a smile. In a blink of an eye he appeared standing in front of the paths „El Thor!" blasting the surrounding area, electrocuting his opponent and his puppets. With his mantra it was not hard to find the man.

**XXX**

„Wow those were some boring one-sided fight I ever seen" said Johnny.

„Hey when will I be fighting?" asked Goku who appeared before the two commentators.

„You wont" said Nick

„WHAT! Why not?" whined Goku

„Anyone who can blow up a planet without difficulty is not allowed to participate. We would need to find a Reality Warper to fight you and there are not that many in existence. So you and your overpowered friends can only watch the show"

Goku pouted but didn't argue the point.

„We have a free buffet in the back, go there if you are bored" before Johnny even ended the sentence Goku was gone.

**XXX**

Killer B faced off against a Gorgon Arcanamach

The dark skinned man looked at the blond woman. So far all the fighters on his side lost. So he could bet that this woman was no pushover.

As soon as the fight started he used his biju to change into Gyuki, ready to fire a Bijudama.

He looked at his target and was surprised when the blond woman also transformed into a strange monster that had snakes for hair and a serpents lower body. Her eyes flashed and his world went dark.

Medusa watched the statue of the giant bull - octopus monster with interest. Perhaps she could transport in to her stone pavilion.

She developed a taste for the abstract art, it was normal to develope a thirst for something new when you are immortal.

**XXX**

Itachi Uchiha saw his opponent in a Shadovar Arcwizard.

Itachi first wanted to put the man under his tsukuyomi but failed.

He concluded that he had some genjutsu protection. But he was only partially correct. While the Shadovar indeed possessed a magical item that gave him immunity to mind attacks, what foiled the Uchihas plan was rather that he didn't have any chakra in his body for the genjutsu to work.

The archwizard didn't even blink as his opponent tried to burn him with black flames since he was also protected from acid, electricity, cold and fire by his ring of elemental immunity.

That didn't include his ring of poison and disease immunity on his other finger. He was basically protected against any possible attack.

Strangely enough the fires didn't dissipate,, but with the ring he could swim in magma and wouldn't even be warm so it didn't bother him.

The Shade pulled out his shadow stuff longsword and prepared a Finger of Death to deal with his opponent.

Itachi didn't understand how his enemy wasn't harmed by Amaterasus flames but he still had one trump card ready to use. „Susanoo" a colossal skeletal figure appeared around him. The Shade decided to melt into the shadows since he didn't know what this was. It was only logical to analyse it before attacking.

Itachi was sweating profoundly, to hold Susanoo a lot of chakra was consumed, if his opponent doesn't show himself shortly he will have to cancel the jutsu.

The Shade summoned a duplicate of himself to attack the strange undead duplicate had only a small amount of his power but it was a good test. Itachi saw the man emerge from the shadows and send fireballs, freezing air and a number of other attacks on him. But they were almost all blocked by his jutsu. Surprisingly enough it didn't prevent some attacks.

The Shade calmly watched the fight from the plane of Shadowfell. The elemental or direct physical attacks were easily blocked. But sound was not, that means it didn't prevent vibrations from passing through. It also didn't prevent illusion magic or enchantments.

A hand emerged from the darkness „Finger of Death" Itachis souls was instantly ripped out of his body, leaving his corpse to fall to the ground.

**XXX**

„Well its to be expected when you fight anyone that used voodoo" said Nick.

„You said something" asked Kakshi who watched the fight from Johnny's seat.

„...Where is Johnny? And why are you not down there?" Kakashi pointed at the bound and gagged commentator

„As for the fight...dont feel like it"

Nick raised an eyebrow „For a jonin you are rather strange."

The bored shinobi flipped another page in his book „Unlike the rest I use my brain"

„Really? Remember that mission to protect Tazuna?"

Kakshi nodded

„How did you know where the demon brothers were hiding?"

„There was a puddle on the road and it didn't rain in a week. It was common sense"

„What if someone emptied his water bottle or bladder?"

„..."

„The correct reply would have been. Because the water wasn't absorbed by the dry earth or because it didn't turn to mud when it mixed with dust. So much for brain"

„Smartass" said Kakashi before he shunshined away.

**XXX**

Free from his restrains Johnny took back his seat. „Whats wrong with these guys. They can't just kidnap people when it strikes their fancy"

„Well he can, and he did".

**XXX**

Tsunade flexed her muscles when she saw her opponent, a Drow Matron The blond looked at the girl before here

„This gaki is my opponent?"

„Ha, the iblith thinks she is older then me" said the white haired woman.

Tsunade rushed to deliver a devastating punch but had to dodge as the womans snake whip tried to bite her.

She saw the black skinned woman grab her by the arm „Slay Living"

The red eyed elf smiled as the evil magic killed her opponent instantly.

**XXX**

Yagami Light vs Hoshigaki Kisame

The blue skinned man grinned at the small human before him

„Don't think this will be much of a fight. Why did I get the weak one" he said boredlly

His opponent didn't even try to attack him beside writing something in his notebook.

„The wrong place to be doing homework kid"

„I know, but this was kind of important and I didn't wish to drag it out. Don't worry, it will only take a minute"

After the minute passed Kira walked away from the blue mans corpse.

**XXX**

Choji Akamichi vs Magellan

„Chō Baika no Jutsu!" shouted the fat kid, making his body grow in size until it reached that of a giant.

Magellan looked bored „Hydra".

The kid died in extreme pain from the multitude of poison in his body.

**XXX**

Reikage A vs Trafalgar Law

A dashed at his opponent with top speed but was to slow.

„Room – Shambles"

Law walked away leaving a bizarre piccaso like flesh statue behind.

He glanced at the heart in his hand before letting it fall to the ground and crushing it under his foot.

XXX

Tobi vs Telamont Tanthul

The masked man entered the ring and silently observed his opponent.

It looked like two glowing eyes surrounded by the deepest darkness he ever saw.

He prepared himself to use his kamui at the first sign of an attack.

He didn't have to wait long, as bolts of pure darkness passed through him. „No no don't hurt Tobi! Tobi is a good boy"

„Mordenkainen's Sword" said the human Shade. And created a powerful enchanted blade wielded by a invisible hand.

Obitos eyes widened when the sword pierced his heart „H-how?!"

„The blade can cut intangible creatures as you have experienced" the Shade said before the sword cut the masked mans head off.

**XXX**

Sir Crocodile vs Gaara

The Kazekage who witnessed the previous fights used the opportunity to rush his opponents with all his sand except his armor to end him quickly. „Sand coffin" but to his dismay the attack didn't harm the man since no blood was felt or seen.

To his surprise his opponent also materialised from sand and placed his hand on the ground „Ground Death".

Gaara trusted in his sand armor to much and died as the moisture from his body disappeared.

**XXX**

Jiraya vs Caesar Clown

In peoples opinion it was a extremely short fight. The Sanins attacks didn't even entertain the psychotic scientist before he used Karakuni to kill the old man via asphyxiation.

**XXX**

Orochimaru vs Szass Tam

The pale faced man looked at his old opponent.

He started the fight by sending a clone to fight the man in tajutsu but beside being tossed around it didn't look like the old geezer was bothered with the punches.

The Sanin changed tactics and spit out Kusanagi that pierced Szass Tam effortlessly.

And still the man didn't even blink a the injury.

„Why wont you die?"

„Imprisonment" said the lich as Orochimaru disappeared in a flash of light „Enjoy your eternity"

**XXX**

Kakuzu vs Pride

Kakuzu died fast by the shadows that sliced him and his masks to bits

**XXX**

Naruto vs Accelerator

What to say. The esper didn't even blink as Naruto bombarded the area with rasengans, bijudamas and clones.

All the blondes power was useless against Accelerators defense and were easily reflected back.

Once hurt enough and his chakra depleted the esper only needed to reverse the flow of blood in Narutos body to kill him.

**XXX**

Sasori vs Walter C. Dornez

Since Sasoris attacks couldn't breach Walters defenses he went all out with his puppets, not that his poison would have any effect on his vampirised body.

But all the puppets were no threat as the monomelecural razor wires easily sliced the puppets, the iron columns even Sasori himself into pieces.

**XXX**

Commander Shepard vs Dart Revan

A Force Lightning ended the battle even before it started.

**XXX**

Ten Ten vs Veil Assassin

Unable to see or follow his movements the girl died a rather messy death as the insane soldier stabbed her with Veil energy blades.

**XXX**

Gai vs Major Alex Louise Armstrong

Gai saw the mans muscles and gave him a nice guy pose „I wish you a most youthful fight!"

Alex only sparkled more „And as do I to you after all youth was a thing passed down through the Armstrong line for generations" he said as they started their battle of sparkles and shining teeth.

That ended when Ermac started to throw them around the arena and slamming them in every hard surface he found before using his Mind Over Splatter move to rip them apart.

**XXX**

Konan vs Admiral Borsalino...that was some nasty lightshow.

**XXX**

Neji vs Aokiji...a Hyuga never looked this cool before.

XXX

Mifune vs Blackguard

The samurai in scale armor wielding a katana rushed the warrior in the Full Plate Armor using a shield and warhammer combination.

The samurai dodged and slashed but the armor deflected and blocked any slashing weapon with utmost ease.

That changed when Mifune received a shield in his face stunning him before the warhammer splatter his brains all over the place.

„That is why you wear a helmet moron" said the Blackguard.

It was the only logical outcome.

Mifunes weapon and armor were the wrong items you pick against heavy armor and blunt weapons.

**XXX**

Hinata vs Millenniums Captain

The Nazi Werewolf didn't even bother with shapeshifting as he shot her in the head.

**XXX**

Lee vs Yuri

A psychic blast made the kids brains splatter across the arena even before the kid managed to say some corny onliner

"The mind is quicker the the eye" said Yuri.

**XXX**

Deidara vs Akainu...a lot of property destruction just to burn on blonde.

**XXX**

Temari vs Dietrich von Lohengrin

The audience never did learn how he killed her.

**XXX**

Kankuro vs Contra Mundi.

Cain proved that his construction is of superior quality.

**XXX**

Sakura vs Zorin Blitz

Nobody taught Sakura how to escape vampiric illusions. The good things? Zorins scythe ended the fight faster then Sakura ever could.

**XXX**

Sasuke vs Tien Shinhan ...

. „Chidori!" shouted Sasuke

„Chidori!" shouted Tien. Both attacks hit each other and dispersed.

„How do you know that move?" growled Sasuke

Tien laughed „My eyes allow me to copy a technic after I seen it used once" he said

„Jutsu thief!" spat Sasuke.

**THE END**


End file.
